Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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