Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
