Are we in a gay sports bar?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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