how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
