When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
