It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm jealous of your bromance
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
