I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
