you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
