He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
