Sponge bath it is.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
