Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
