the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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