I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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