there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
