Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
