He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
