im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
