Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Randomize
