p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
