how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize