I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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