that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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