I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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