You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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