UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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