escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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