I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
