Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Is it penis luge time yet?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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