Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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