just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Randomize
