Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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