question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
