i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Umm I'm too high to move.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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