I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
