I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
only if we run a train.
done.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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