The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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