And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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