Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i would punch a child for taco bell
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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