Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize