so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
