Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
