grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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