Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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