Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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