I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
