apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
