the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
