I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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