If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
