I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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