There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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