i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
