I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
