Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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