I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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