I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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