rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm at about main and main street
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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