I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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