If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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