WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
