The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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