I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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