school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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