I hate all girls vehemently.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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